Nostalgia and Pinot Grigio

I have been trying to write something in here. How I am, how I feel, what I am thinking and everything. 

I think probably the best way to put it is: my heart of stone is still beating. Don't know what for, but it still is. It feels heavy and cold but it keeps going. 
I have been trying to fill the hole in my heart with the past and nostalgic thoughts. I really wish I was still seventeen. I wish I could still go on fishing trips with you, or just sitting by the lake with you by my side in complete silence, just enjoying the moment. I will not forget, ever, how comfortable I was with you that time. How nice it felt being with someone who knows me and accepts me. My only ever rock in my life. It was so easy. No adult shit to worry about, no job, no bills, no nothing. Just you and me. I wish so bad to turn back time, even just for a little bit. 

Will I ever feel that again? 

I am going home again, and since I bought my ticket I have been wishing to meet you one more time, to see you one more time. I want to see you, feel you, bee with you just one last time. If only life could grant me this wish. My heart's wish. 
You always  will have a very special place in my heart and I really wish I could share this with you, after all these years.